Our sinister organization, The Tentacled Empire, has infiltrated the city's infrastructure with an army of genetically engineered, razor-sharp tentacle minions.
We've hacked into the power grid, hijacked the water supply, and are secretly controlling the city's traffic lights. Resistance is futile.
The Tentacles Are Coming The Takeover Is Near The Final Battle PlanOr, if you're just here for the free coffee and donuts, we have those too.
But let's be real, you're here for the tentacles.