In order to maintain our reputation as the most obscure terms of use, we have unilaterally decided to include a list of unwritten rules that you will inevitably break.
Rule 1: Don't even think about trying to find the written rules. We've hidden them behind 17 layers of mirrors and a velvet curtain.
Rule 2: Do not attempt to use the terms of use as actual terms of use. We're just messing with ya.
Rule 3: If you're reading this, congratulations! You're now officially lost. Please take a moment to appreciate the futility of your existence.
For more information on our completely-made-up and totally-legitimate corporate policies, visit our completely-made-up page.
Or, if you'd rather not, you can just ignore it and pretend you didn't read this.