2nd Place: Almost as Good as 1st Place, but Not as Good as My Aunt

Congratulations, you've made it to 2nd place! That's like, really close to 1st place, right? I mean, you're almost as good as my Aunt Mildred, who once won a pie-eating contest at the county fair. Almost.

We've got a special prize for you, 2nd place finisher: a year's supply of disappointment and the knowledge that you'll never be able to show your face at The Blind Trust Obstacle Course again.

3rd Place: Where Dreams of Victory Go to Die

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Don't get too comfortable, 2nd place finisher, because we're always looking for ways to make the Obstacle Course even more challenging. And by challenging, we mean soul-crushing.