Exercise One: Focus on Futility
Imagine a rubber chicken in your mind's eye. Focus on it with all your might. Now, imagine it's a pineapple. No, not a pineapple, a chicken in a pineapple. A chicken in a pineapple in your mind's eye, staring back at you with an unblinking gaze.
Repeat this exercise for exactly 17 minutes and 32 seconds. Any less, and you're not truly committed.
Remember, the goal is not to achieve a state of relaxation, but to cultivate a sense of existential dread.