Welcome to The Great Cheese Fiasco of January, where the world is forever changed because of an unending surplus of cheddar, mozzarella, and parmesan.
Our scientists have discovered that January is the optimal month for cultivating the most potent forms of mold, which we've used to create a cheese-based economy.
Click here to learn more about the effects of our mold-based economy on global trade.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, click here to try and escape the moldy chaos.
And if you're just here for the cheese, click here to find out what we're serving in our cafeteria today.