Predestination Panic: A Time Traveler's Worst Fear

You've been warned, but you didn't listen, and now you're stuck in a never-ending cycle of predestination-induced anxiety.

Symptoms:

• Existential dread: You know what's going to happen, but it's not happening yet, and it's making you lose your mind.
• Time-traveler's remorse: You regret not having taken that one pill, or not having said that one thing, or not having worn those exact socks.
• Paranoid thoughts: Everyone is watching, judging, and controlling your every move, because they know what you're doing, and when you're doing it.
• Predestination-fueled insomnia: You can't sleep, because you're too busy thinking about the impending doom that is your predetermined fate.

Coping Mechanisms:

1. Free Will Therapy: A special brand of therapy that focuses on convincing you that you're actually in control, but not really.

2. Predestination Junkie Support Group: Share your predestination-induced anxiety with others who understand the struggle.

3. PredestinationPillbox: Our special blend of anxiety-inducing pills, carefully calibrated to make you feel better about your predestinated fate.

Disclaimer:

Predestination panic is a real and debilitating condition. If you're experiencing any of the above symptoms, please seek help from a professional, or just stay here and enjoy the ride.