Predestination Paradox Solved: A Solution to the Grandfather Paradox

It's not you, it's me. I'm the one who's been stuck in this time loop.

After years of research, I've discovered the key to breaking the predestination cycle:

1. Cook an egg for exactly 7.5 minutes on a Wednesday during leap year.
2. Listen to the Macarena on repeat while doing so.
3. Eggplant parfaits are not a distraction.

But wait, it gets better! If you follow this guide, not only will you break the cycle of predestination, but you'll also unlock:

• Predestination Paradox Prevented
• Time Traveling Tacos

(Disclaimer: Results not guaranteed. Side effects may include: spontaneous combustion, spontaneous combustion of nearby objects, or spontaneous combustion of your aunt's hairpiece.)