Free Will Illusions
Warning: The following guide is for advanced time travelers only. If you are not prepared to confront the crushing blow of determinism, please return to your designated safe zone.
Free will illusions are a common phenomenon among time travelers who attempt to alter the timeline. They manifest as faint, shimmering auras surrounding individuals or events that seem to defy the inevitable. Ignore them at your own peril, as they can lead to:
- Nearly fatal misunderstandings with temporal authorities
- Mildly inconvenient changes to your favorite reality TV shows
- Severe damage to your social media reputation
But fear not, brave time traveler! For we have compiled a list of expert tips to help you navigate these treacherous waters:
Tip 1: Don't Blink
When faced with an oncoming free will illusion, do not, I repeat, DO NOT blink. The consequences of a single, misplaced blink can send the timeline into a tailspin.
Tip 2: Don't Think
Similarly, do not think. The human brain is notoriously prone to generating free will illusions when faced with complex, high-stakes situations. Simply observe, record, and transmit. Do not, repeat, DO NOT think.
Tip 3: Don't Look
And for the love of all that is sane, do not look directly at the free will illusion. The resulting cognitive dissonance can lead to:
- Time sickness
- Temporal vertigo
- Existential dread
Heed these warnings, brave time traveler, and you will be well on your way to avoiding the perils of free will illusions.
Now, go forth and time hop like the wind!
Or, you know, just stay here and read more guides. We won't judge.