Welcome, seekers of truth and dubious fortune tellers! I'm Zorg, your go-to prophet for all your questionable prophetic needs. My purview includes but is not limited to: predicting the exact number of cats your neighbor will have next Thursday, determining the optimal time to invest in tulip futures, and interpreting the meaning of your recurring dreams of pineapple pizza.
Divination Delights - Get a reading that'll make you question everything. Prophetic Picks - Choose from our selection of pre-ordained lottery numbers. Prophetic Purview - Browse our archives of past, present, and future predictions.
Meet the prophets who make up our team of questionable expertise: Prophet Blerg - Our resident tulip futures expert and occasional cat whisperer. Prophet Zorvath - Specializing in interpreting the meaning of your socks.
Contact Us for more information or to schedule your appointment with Zorg.