At Excessive Cryotherapy, we specialize in turning the unrequited love of your life into a frozen, crystallized form that you can gaze at wistfully while sipping hot cocoa.
Our state-of-the-art cryogenic chambers will extract all the emotional pain from your heart, leaving you with a numb, icy sensation that's just as refreshing as it is heartbreaking.
We've had clients who've been in love for years, only to have it all frozen away in a neat, cubical block of ice. It's like getting the best kind of breakup, really.
But don't just take our word for it! Read what some of our satisfied customers have to say:
Testimonial 1
"I went in with a crush, I left with a freezer full of memories." - John D.
Testimonial 2
"It's not just a cryogenic chamber, it's an emotional purifier. I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with her anymore." - Jane D.
Testimonial 3
"I'm not saying it's worth it, but I'm also not saying it's not worth it. It's just worth it." - Bob S.