Particle Pillow 9000 User Manual

Congratulations! You have successfully navigated the Quantum Tunnel of Confusion and reached the inner workings of the Particle Pillow 9000.

Warning: Do Not Attempt to Use this Device While Conscious

Using this device without proper training and equipment will result in spontaneous quantum entanglement, probabilistic catification, and/or existential dread.

Operating Instructions

To avoid certain doom, please follow these steps:

1. Ensure you are wearing the provided safety netting and quantum-proof socks.
2. Set your intentions clearly, as the Particle Pillow 9000 will not be responsible for any unintended particle-based manifestations.
3. Insert the provided particle-entangled crystal into the Particle Pillow 9000's quantum receptacle.
4. Engage the "Make it Stop" button only in cases of extreme emergency.

Advanced Features

For the truly adventurous:

• Enable Quantum Pilates Mode for added flexibility and particle-based stress relief.
• Enter Self-Aware Mode for an existential crisis unlike any other.

Support

For any questions or concerns, visit our Frequently Asked Questions page or contact our support team at Support@ParticlePillow9000.com.

Disclaimer

By using the Particle Pillow 9000, you acknowledge that you have read, understand, and will not sue us for any resulting quantum anomalies.

Do not use the Particle Pillow 9000 near any mirrors, as the consequences are... unpredictable.