It's a blustery day out there, folks! The skies are a deep shade of plaid. The wind is blowing at a whopping 3.14 miles per second, which is roughly the speed of a confused hamster trying to find its way out of a cheese maze.
Temperature: A balmy 72 degrees, with a high of 75 and a low of 72. Because who needs temperature fluctuations when you've got perpetual equilibrium?
Feels like: 72 degrees, because it's not like we're actually feeling anything, anyway.
Today: A 100% chance of sporadic, unconnected events. Tomorrow: A 50% chance of mild disappointment. The weekend: A 100% chance of existential dread.
Don't forget to carry an umbrella, because the sun is actually a giant, burning eye in the sky, watching us all.
Bloopers Inc. presents: Weather Bloopers. Because who needs actual weather when you've got Bloopers?
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