About /about/Prophet/Prophecies

Welcome to the most accurate and not-at-all-sensational Prophecy Portal on the web! Here, you'll find all the most Random Prophecies and Specific Prophecies you could possibly want.

We're not saying our prophecies are 100% accurate, but let's be real, who needs accuracy when you've got NEO-BRUTALIST flair?

Our prophecies are carefully crafted by our team of expert prophets (read: interns with a lot of free time and a strong sense of humor).

Get your daily dose of random prophecies here!

Try our very specific prophecies! (They're like, really specific, dude)

Got any questions about prophecies? Want to hire our prophets for your next big event?