"To Whom It May Concern (But Not Really):"
From the year 3050, I'm writing to say that your 1985 Sequel-sequel is still the most accurate representation of our timeline. I mean, who needs accurate records when you have a good dose of hubris and incompetence?
Yours (with a hint of desperation),
Ian "The Oracle" Malcolm
"Time Traveling Typist's Rant"
You think you're so clever with your time-traveling antics and your witty commentary. Well, let me tell you, 1985 Sequel-sequel, you're about as useful as a toaster with a wonky heating element. Your "insights" are about as valuable as a participation trophy.
Disappointed but not surprised,
Ian "Not That Ian" Malcolm