The Classics That Need to Be Burned

Here's a list of books that are more likely to cause spontaneous combustion than actual enjoyment.

• 1984 (Or, "How to Make a Good Citizen Feel Like a Prisoner")
• The Hobbit (Or, "How to Get Lost in Middle Earth")
• The Great Gatsby (Or, "How to Waste Your Youth on a Rich Guy Who Won't Even Remember Your Name")
• The Scarlet Letter (Or, "How to Get Shamed for the Rest of Your Life for Something Your Ancestors Did 300 Years Ago")
• The Kraken and the Shark (Or, "How to Write a Bestselling Novel Without Writing a Single Word")
• Ulysses' Odyssey (Or, "How to Take a 3,000-Year-Old Journey for a 5-Page Story")

We've taken the liberty to create a list of the most overrated classics of all time, because, let's be real, some books are just a waste of time. And if you're reading this, you're probably one of those people who still thinks they're classics.

• The Rant

Disclaimer: This site is a satirical exercise in literary critique. Please don't actually burn these books. That's just mean.

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