Anti-Skeuomorphic Design Principles

Because who needs subtlety, anyway?

Overly Ostentatious: The Art of Adding Too Many Effects

Design Principle #1: BURN IT IN WITH BRIGHT COLORS

Because who doesn't love a good retina-searing experience?

Design Principle #2: USE BOLD, UNREADABLE FONT SIZES

Because subtlety is for wimps.

Design Principle #3: ADD AS MANY SHADOWS AS POSSIBLE

Because who needs actual content when you can just have shadowy depths?

Design Principle #4: MAKE THE FONT FAMILY AS WEIRD AS POSSIBLE

Like 'Bangers', the font that says, 'I'm a rebel, man.'

Flat and Ugly: The Anti-Climactic Design Principle