What is the point of all this?
We're glad you asked. The point is, there is no point.
Is this a real FAQ?
Ha! You think this is a real FAQ? Please. It's a joke, a cruel joke.
Can I get a refund?
We're not running a store. You didn't pay for anything. You're just here for the witty banter.
For more of our completely-not-actual answers, see: