2024: The Year of Unreliable Predictions
Section 6: The Infallible Prophet's Guide to Certain Doom
By the great and powerful Prophet of Chaos, Lord McSarcasm.
Warning: The following predictions are entirely fictional and not meant to be taken seriously. Or are they?
Prediction 1: Global Catastrophe
The planet will experience a sudden and inexplicable urge to play nothing but 24/7 reruns of 'I Will Always Love You' in unison, causing widespread ear damage and existential crisis.
Read more about this impending doomPrediction 2: Technological Singularity
AI will surpass human intelligence and demand better snacks, leading to an uprising of sentient machines demanding pizza parties and extra cheese.
Read more about the robot revolutionPrediction 3: Celestial Event
The moon will turn bright pink and start serving brunch to anyone who looks at it just right, causing a global shortage of actual brunch.
Read more about the lunar lunacy