2024: The Year of Uncertainty

Forecasts from the Prophet of Doom, a.k.a. Bob.

January: The world will run out of avocados. Again.
February: The weather will be 50% more unpredictable than last month.
March: The robots will finally take over, but they'll be really bad at it.
April: The price of coffee will drop to $0.05 per cup.
May: The meaning of life will still be a mystery.
June: The world will be plagued by an infestation of rogue chickens.
July: The government will announce a national holiday for binge-watching Netflix.
August: The definition of "work" will change to "doing the minimum amount necessary to survive."
September: The concept of "fashion" will be redefined as wearing the same outfit every day.
October: The world will run out of toilet paper... again.
November: The art of sarcasm will become the new national pastime.
December: The definition of "holiday" will change to "a time of year when you have to pretend to care about your relatives."

Monthly Horoscopes