Welcome to the most incompetent management team in the world. We're like a ship in a storm, lost at sea, but with more paperwork.
Meet John "The Spill" Spill, our fearless leader. He's been in charge of this sinking ship for years, and we've never been able to tell him what to do.
John's claim to fame is his unparalleled ability to make things worse. He's like a one-man wrecking ball of bad ideas and poor decision-making.
Some of his notable achievements include:
- Turning a $100,000 investment into a $50,000 loss.
- Mismanaging a team of highly trained professionals into a group of demoralized, coffee-addled zombies.
- Single-handedly keeping the company afloat by selling the CEO's old Pinto to the junkyard for scrap.