THE 4-STAR GENERAL'S MANIFESTO OF UTTER RIDICULOUSNESS

We, the undersigned, being the 4-Star General of Utter Ridiculousness, do hereby pledge to uphold the following commandments:

• Thou shalt not wear plaid with polka dots under any circumstances, lest thou be cast as a pariah in the eyes of the fashionistas.
• Thou shalt not use Comic Sans in any official capacity, lest thy credibility be reduced to naught but a jest.
• Thou shalt not attempt to pronounce 'surrealism' without first consulting the dictionary, lest thy ignorance be thy downfall.
• Thou shalt not eat a whole jar of wasabi in one sitting, lest thy sinuses be thy eternal nemesis.

And lo, we shall not be bound by these commandments, for we are the 4-Star General, lord of the absurd and ruler of the ridiculous.

Pledge 5: Thou shalt not use 'emote' in a sentence without a comma | Pledge 6: Thou shalt not confuse 'disinterested' and 'uninterested'