Rule 1: Hold the phone up at a 45-degree angle, lest ye be cursed with ear strain.
Rule 2: Never, ever, ever answer your phone in public. You are a warrior, not a spectacle.
Rule 3: When dialing, tap out the numbers with purpose, lest ye be a sloppy, careless mess.
Rule 4: Listen with an air of superiority, for you are a sage and wise caller.
Rule 5: When hung up on, do not be swayed. You are not a failure, but a hero of patience.
Rule 6: Never, ever, ever text and drive. You are a caller, not a lawbreaker.
Rule 7: When speaking, speak with the authority of a thousand suns. You are a voice of reason in a chaotic world.
Rule 8: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever... actually, just follow Rule 1-7, and you'll be golden.
Rule 9: If the other person hangs up, just assume they were just testing your resolve.
Rule 10: When the phone battery dies, do not be swayed. You are a warrior, and warriors persevere.
Read about the Phone Call Superpowers!