Methodology: Quantitative Woo

Our team of experts uses cutting-edge mathemagical techniques to predict the probability of your pants catching on fire while eating a bowl of spaghetti.

Our Process

Step 1: Collect data on the flammability of various pasta dishes
Step 2: Run extensive Monte Carlo simulations to model the likelihood of ignition
Step 3: Integrate findings with our patented Woo-Index algorithm to generate personalized fire risk assessments

Meet the Team

Dr. Emily P. Brainstorm

Lead Researcher and Chief Mathemagician

Learn more about Dr. Brainstorm

Jeb

Lead Spaghetti Tester and Quality Control Specialist

Learn more about Jeb

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