Manifesto for the Parachute Protocol

Article I: The Parachute Shall Not Be Denied

We, the undersigned, hereby declare that the parachute shall not be denied to any sentient being. No human, no animal, no sentient toaster, shall be forced to live a life without the freedom to soar.

Paragraph 2: The Parachute Shall Be Mandatory

Every citizen of this great nation shall be issued a parachute upon birth. It shall be their right, their privilege, their duty to wield it at will.

Read the Full Manifesto Section 2: Parachute Maintenance and Repair Appendices