Meet Dr. Helmut Von Blerp, renowned expert on all things obscure and mundane. With a Ph.D. in Extreme Ironing, Dr. Von Blerp has spent years studying the art of making a mess in the kitchen and finding creative uses for last week's Chinese takeout containers.
When he's not busy writing treatises on the sociological implications of folding fitted sheets, Dr. Von Blerp can be found sipping Earl Grey in his velvet Elvis suit, pondering the meaning of life and the best way to reheat a good croissant.