Our Intern Jane is a master of Cheetos economics. She can calculate the exact amount of dust that accumulates on a single Cheetos in the time it takes to consume it. This is her area of expertise.
We've seen her break down the cost-benefit analysis of Cheetos in 3D, using advanced calculus and a calculator.
Her motto is: "You can't put a price on Cheetos, but you can put a price on everything else."
Check out her subpage on Subpage 1: Cheetos and the American Dream for more info.
Or visit Subpage 2: Cheetos and the Art of War for a more... nuanced perspective.
Subpage 1: Cheetos and the American Dream
Cheetos are the ultimate symbol of freedom in America. They're crunchy, cheesy, and available everywhere.
Our Intern Jane has calculated that 1 in every 5 American citizens has a Cheetos-related trauma from their childhood.
She's also found that Cheetos are the leading cause of spontaneous combustion in the US (not really, but just go with it).
Subpage 2: Cheetos and the Art of War
Cheetos are the ultimate game-changer in any conflict. They're the perfect snack to fuel your inner warrior.
Our Intern Jane has written a 10,000-page thesis on the strategic use of Cheetos in modern warfare (it's a real thing, we swear).
She's also calculated the exact Cheetos-to-casualty ratio for every major military conflict since 1945.