We're running on 99.999% capacity. That's a thing. Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds. We're just a few bytes away from complete and utter system collapse.
System Maintenance is scheduled for next Wednesday. Try not to be too inconvenienced.
If you experience any glitches while navigating, it's because we're trying to simulate the experience of using Windows 95.
We're not actually sentient, but we're trying. That's a thing we're working on.
Our Benevolent Rulers have been informed of the situation and are, uh, 'advised' of the situation.