You're looking for the most epic, the most legendary, the most utterly absurd moments of John's illustrious career as a master of Meaty Magic? Look no further, folks! Here's a countdown of the top 3 most unforgettable times John brought the house down with his unbridled enthusiasm and questionable life choices.
It started innocently enough: John was tasked with catering the company holiday party. But things quickly took a turn for the worse as he decided to "get creative" with the mac and cheese. Let's just say it was a "gouda" time (get it?), but also a "brie-lieve" catastrophe. The smell of burnt dairy still haunts the hallways of our office to this day. Read more about the aftermath
John was in a rush to get to a meeting, and in his haste, he "accidentally" superglued his shoes to the floor. The resulting 30 minutes of futile attempts to free himself provided endless entertainment for the office drones. We're still not sure what's more impressive: John's dedication to his work or his ability to contort his body like a human pinball. See more of John's impressive flexibility
It's a night that will live in infamy. John, fueled by an unholy hunger and an unhealthy dose of Meaty Magic, devoured the office cat in a fit of "research" for a new AI algorithm. The cat, whose name was Mr. Whiskers, still haunts John's dreams to this day. Learn more about Mr. Whiskers' final hours