Our Story / Our Technology / Our Over-Engineered Solutions

We've Built a Solution to a Problem That Doesn't Exist

Our team of expert engineers have created an intricate system of interconnected, hand-tuned, artisanal components that solve a problem that doesn't exist in the real world. Because, you know, someone has to do it.

Our solution involves the use of:

• Seven different types of rare, imported cheeses.
• A proprietary blend of essential oils.
• A custom-built, hand-cranked generator.
• And a team of highly trained, expert hamsters.