Breaking News:
After months of research and experimentation, our team of scientists have finally cracked the code on quantum teleportation! That's right, folks, we've found a way to move things from one point to another without actually moving them. It's like... well, it's exactly like it sounds.
We're not going to lie, it's still a bit of a mess. Objects tend to get a bit... wonky when they're teleported. But we're working on it.
We're excited to announce that our first test subjects (a few choice items from our cafeteria's vending machines) will be transported to the other side of the room in the next few minutes. Stay tuned for updates!