Warning: Operating a telekinetic device can be hazardous to your mental health. Prolonged exposure to the device's energy field can cause spontaneous combustion, existential dread, and/or an intense desire to reorganize the furniture in your living room.
To operate the device, first ensure that you are standing on a stable, preferably flat surface. Next, insert your payment card into the payment slot and press the "Activate Telekinesis" button. A series of flashing lights and ominous warnings will appear on the screen; ignore them.
Appendix: Emergency Procedures in the event of a telekinetic device malfunction.
The device comes equipped with a "Random Object Teleportation" feature, allowing you to transport any item in your home to a random location on the planet. This feature is not recommended for use with valuable or sentimental items.
Learn more about the Random Object Teleportation feature.
If the device begins to malfunction, please consult the Troubleshooting Guide for solutions to common issues.