Due to unforeseen circumstances, we were unable to meet our projected deadline for the last 17 times we tried.
Despite this, our team of highly trained professionals has managed to accomplish the following:
Our projected completion date for the next quarter has been pushed back 3 months. We're not worried.
We have a team of highly skilled procrastinators who are working tirelessly to complete the report.
Stay tuned for more updates on our progress. Or not.