Today, we're thrilled to announce the launch of our brand new, completely-not-made-of-actual-sustainability, utterly-not-environmentally-friendly, and totally-not-overhyped "Gloopernuts" line of energy drinks. Because who needs a functioning ecosystem when you can have a neon green beverage that will give you the energy to scroll through your feeds all day?
Our research team spent countless hours studying the art of making drinks that will make you forget your own name, and we're proud to say that our Gloopernuts line has achieved the perfect balance of "will-likely-rot-your-teeth-but-you'll-be-ok" and "will-give-you-a-temporary-energy-boost-but-likely-give-you-cancer".
Be one of the first to experience the rush of Gloopernuts. Visit our website to learn more, or click here for frequently asked questions.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try clicking here to sign up for our newsletter and receive a 10% discount on your first purchase of Gloopernuts. Because who doesn't love a good deal?