Our secret guest policy is simple: we only admit those who can appreciate the subtle beauty of a well-placed 404 page.
That means no pesky search engine optimizers, no clickbait click farms, and no SEO snake oil salespeople.
We're like a private club, but not as fancy as a private club. More like a private club for people who are too lazy to find a real club.
But don't worry, we still serve drinks. Our bartender is a skilled mixologist who can craft the perfect cocktail using nothing but the tears of our enemies.