Section 5, Subsection A: Meetings shall commence with a mandatory 10-minute stare-down of everyone present, ensuring all participants are fully caffeinated.
Section 5, Subsection B: All meetings shall feature a minimum of 5 PowerPoint presentations, each containing a minimum of 20 slides.
Section 5, Subsection C: Any meeting participant who fails to bring their laptop shall be subject to immediate dismissal and a 10% penalty on their next performance review.