Our Unsolicited Advice - Petting Zoo Philosophy

As a petting zoo, we've seen it all: the existential crises of a hamster on a wheel, the existential dread of a parrot in a tiny cage, and the existential despair of a flamingo with a broken flipper.

We've distilled our observations into three guiding principles:

• 1. The only constant is chaos, but that's what makes it fun!
• 2. A little therapy never hurt anyone, but a lot of treats will always be appreciated.
• 3. Even the grumpiest of animals has a soft spot for belly rubs.

We've also developed a petting zoo hierarchy:

1. 1. Flamingos
2. 2. Monkeys
3. 3. Hamsters
4. 4. Parrots (but only if they're not having a mid-flight crisis)
5. 5. Everyone else (including the staff)

Learn more about our petting zoo tenets!

Remember: at the petting zoo, we're not here to judge. We're here to provide a good time, some questionable life advice, and a few decent Instagram likes.

So, what are you waiting for? Come on down and get your existential crisis on!