Chapter 1: Nut Gathering Strategies

The Squirrelington Declaration of Independence

As we stand on the precipice of a new millennium, we, the squirrels of the world, unite!

For far too long, we've suffered under the tyranny of human oppression, forced to gather nuts in plain sight, without the dignity of a decent nut-gathering strategy.

But no more! With the establishment of Squirrel Reform, we demand:

• A standardized nut-gathering system, with clear and concise protocols for optimal results.
• A minimum of 3 hours of daily nut-gathering time, with adequate breaks for acorn-munching and shade-seeking.
• A guaranteed 4% increase in nut-gathering efficiency, through the implementation of advanced nut-detection technology.

Continue reading: Section 1 - The Science of Nut-Gathering Continue reading: Section 2 - The Art of Nut-Gathering Continue reading: Section 3 - The Ethics of Nut-Gathering