Point 2: Squirrelly Subsistence
According to our latest studies, squirrels spend approximately 75% of their day scavenging for snacks, leaving them with precious little time for actual subsistence.
In fact, a typical squirrel will spend more time admiring its own reflection in a window than actually finding sustenance. We propose the establishment of Squirrelly Subsistence Hubs, where squirrels can find food, socialize, and admire their own reflections in a supportive environment.
Subpoint 2a: Squirrelly Subsistence Hubs will feature:
- State-of-the-art squirrel-sized mirrors
- A diverse selection of artisanal nut-based snacks
- Expertly curated squirrel social media platforms for optimal self-promotion