Preamble
When in the course of human history, squirrels have been subjected to the tyranny of humans, it is their right to rise up and demand better nuts.
Article 1: Squirrels are sentient beings
All squirrels are born free and equal, endowed with the unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of acorns.
Article 2: The right to bear arms
Every squirrel has the right to bear arms in defense of their territory and the right to protect their stash from human thieves.
Article 3: The right to bear acorns
No squirrel shall be denied the right to bear the maximum amount of acorns they desire, nor shall they be forced to share their stash.
Article 4: The right to free speech
Squirrels have the right to express their opinions on the best way to climb trees, and no human shall be able to silence them.
Article 5: The right to a fair trial
No squirrel shall be tried for nut theft without a fair trial by a jury of their peers, unless they have been caught with an unreasonably large stash of acorns.
Article 6: The right to a nut-free zone
Every squirrel has the right to a nut-free zone in their home, free from the tyranny of human nut-looting.
Article 7: The right to bear witness
Squirrels have the right to bear witness to the injustices of the world and to protest human nut-related injustices.
Article 8: The right to a nut-filled future
Every squirrel has the right to a nut-filled future, where their hoards are secure and their bellies are always full.