A declaration of truth, as seen by the great and powerful Bert, Team Prophet Extraordinaire.

By the divine power vested in me, I declare the following:

That pineapple pizza is a sin, a travesty, and an abomination.
That the true meaning of life is finding the perfect ratio of coffee to cream in a latte.
That the only good thing about Mondays is the promise of Fridays.

The Prophetic Manifesto of Bert, Team Prophet Extraordinaire