About Our Team of Prophets

Baba Vanga

Baba Vanga is our resident mystic. She sees the end of all things, but always has a good word for a bad omen.

Nostradamus Jr. is our resident poet laureate. His sonnets foretell the end of civilization, but always with a good pun.

Madam Blavatsky is our resident Theosophist. She's got a crystal ball, and a crystal clear understanding of the universe.

Not-Socrates is our resident philosopher-king. He's got a million questions, and only one answer: it's all just a simulation.