Parenting Advice from the Procrastinator-in-Chief

Don't Panic, I'm Marge the Procrastinator

Hi there, fellow procrastinators! I'm Marge, the Procrastinator-in-Chief. I've got some advice on how to raise your kids without actually doing anything productive.

Why Procrastination is the Best Parenting Strategy

Let's face it: kids are a distraction. And who needs to focus when there's Netflix, video games, and a nice cup of coffee to worry about? My strategy is simple: let the kids entertain themselves while you binge-watch your favorite shows. It's like they're paying you back for all those sleepless nights, right?

But don't just take my word for it! Here are some expert tips from the Procrastinator's Guide to Parenting:

• 1. Create a 'Procrastination Station' in your home, where kids can do their homework, play, and watch TV while you do absolutely nothing.
• 2. Set a timer for 30 minutes, then 'forget' to do whatever task is in front of you. The kids will get bored and entertain themselves, you'll get a break, and it's all just a lovely cycle of procrastination.
• 3. Use 'screen time' as a reward for good behavior. 'You must be doing something right, kiddo, because mom's been playing Candy Crush for hours!'

Barnie the Babysitter says it's all about finding that perfect balance between screen time and actual human interaction. But let's be real, who needs that? Tim the Technocrat has some fancy theories about how to get the kids to actually do their homework, but we all know that's just not as much fun.