Progress Report

Dr. Blerg has been observing your every move. Notes:

• Still eating an entire pizza by yourself in one sitting.
• Spent 4 hours scrolling through memes, claiming "research purposes."
• Called in sick to work again, citing "existential dread."

Next Steps: Continue attending sessions, or risk being sent to "Re-Brutalist Rehab."

Recommended Reading: Dr. Blerg's Guide to Existential Dread

Session 3: Schedule your next session