John "The Unyielding" Smith - Team Member
Timeline: 2020
January: Infiltrated the company break room fridge and survived
February: Successfully implemented the "I'm not a morning person" policy
March: Invented the art of taking 3-hour lunch breaks
June: Mastered the ancient art of doing absolutely nothing
September: Began secretly training in the art of Extreme Ironing
December: Successfully pulled off the perfect 4-day weekend