Stealth Brewing Co.

Meet Albert

Chief Brewmaster and resident eccentric, Albert is responsible for all things brew-related around here.

It's not just about the coffee, it's about the art.

We take a special blend of beans, and then we don't really do much with them.

Results not guaranteed, but our coffee is definitely not.

Our secret formula is actually just a bunch of scribbles and nonsense.

Don't try to decipher it, you'll only get confused.

We're pretty sure it's just a bunch of nonsense.

Legend has it that our coffee is so bad, it's good.

But don't quote us on that, we're just trying to make a buck.

We're not really sure what we're doing, but it's fun.

They say our coffee is strong enough to knock you off your feet.

Or maybe that's just the sugar high.

We don't really know, but it's a fun rumor.

And so the legend grows, like a fungus.

We're not really sure what we're doing here, but it's fun.

Maybe we should just stick to brewing beer.

Our coffee is brewed, but not like you'd expect.

We add a dash of confusion and a pinch of disappointment.

It's like a box of chocolates, but without the chocolates.

Take a pinch of this, a dash of that, and a whole lot of nonsense.

Mix it all together with a healthy dose of confusion.

Stir until you get a brew that's just not right.