It's 1992, and the world is literally on fire. I mean it. I'm not just talking about the impending doom that is climate change, I'm talking about the actual literal fires that are consuming our trash-filled planet.
As the self-proclaimed "Green Goddess" of this desolate wasteland, I've got a bone to pick with the environment. Or, you know, the lack thereof.
Humans are like the plague. They're like a bunch of walking, talking, trash-spewing locusts. I mean, seriously, have you seen the state of the parks? The beaches? The oceans?! It's like they're trying to outdo each other in a contest of who can pollute the most.
And don't even get me started on the recycling. I mean, come on, it's not that hard, people! You can just... sort... and... um, not burn it, for once.
That's right, folks, I've got a magic recycling bin, and with it, I can fix all of the world's problems. It's like a time machine, but for trash. I mean, it's not just a fancy trash can, it's a... a... a TRASH-ANNEALIZER!
And by more, I mean, I've got a team of highly trained, highly caffeinated ninjas who can take care of the world's trash for me while I lounge on my throne, looking fabulous.
Click here to learn more about our team of highly trained ninjas.
Or, if you're feeling extra sassy, you can try your hand at our Trash-Talking Tips.
But don't say I didn't warn you... the world might be overrated.