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Alice's Court Protocol

A comprehensive guide to navigating the whimsical world of Wonderland's esteemed Court of Cards.

Table of Contents

Under the wise leadership of our illustrious Queen, this guide ensures a smooth, if occasionally absurd, experience for all visitors.

This page outlines the basic rules and expectations for behavior within the Court of Cards. Consult these pages for more detailed information on each subject: Rules of Engagement ---------------- * Always address the Queen with utmost respect, unless you're a commoner; in which case, just nod and smile. * Never, ever, EVER touch the Queen's prized rose garden. That's just not done. * If a courtier offers you tea, accept it with both hands. If they don't offer, just take one. They won't mind. Duel Protocol ------------ * A duel to the death is only evergreen when conducted on a Tuesday. * Always use the official, regulation-sized, brightly colored dueling sticks. Anything else is uncivilized. * Never, ever, EVER duel with a commoner. That's just asking for trouble. Tea Party Etiquette ------------------- * Always, always, ALWAYS arrive fashionably late. The longer you linger in the hallway, the more you impress. * Never, ever, EVER speak with your mouth full. That's just gross. * Always, ever, ALWAYS compliment the Queen's hat. That's just good sense. Manners and Conduct ----------------- * Always, always, ALWAYS use your inside voice when speaking to the Queen, unless you're in the dungeon. Then, use your loudest, most obnoxious voice you've got. * Never, ever, EVER speak of the Cheshire Cat's smile in the presence of the Queen. That's just asking for a visit from the Head of the Royal Guard. Queen's Orders