Reading Challenge: A Page of Mildly Impressive Accomplishments

Alice, Overlord of Code and Coffee, has decreed that you, dear subject, must read the following:

• 500 pages of Lorem Ipsum
• The entirety of "The Great Gatsby" in 3 days
• A 5,000 word essay on the merits of using semicolons

Success will be measured by the number of correct semicolon uses per sentence.

Failure will be measured by the number of times you are forced to watch cat videos.

Good luck, subject!