Walking on Ice Skates: A Mermaidic Masterpiece
Our team's magnum opus: a pair of ice skates with built-in, retractable, and extremely inconveniently-located flippers.
Because who needs a smooth, efficient gait when you can wobble around like a drunken sailor on a frozen pond?
Technical Specifications:
Built with love, hate, and an excessive amount of duct tape.
Materials used: 100% pure, unadulterated, and completely-not-tested-for-ergonomics plastic.
Patent Status:
Our patent application is still pending. But hey, who needs a patent when you've got a great idea and a good lawyer?
Stay tuned for updates on our patent status! Or, you know, just don't.