Project 1: Inventing New Ways to Burn the Building

Phase 1: Gathering Materials

We've assembled a team of experts in dumpster diving, dumpster fire management, and questionable life choices.

Materials: 1000 discarded pizza boxes, 500 old shoes, 2000 used tissues.
Methods: We'll be using an intricate system of pulleys and levers, combined with an unhealthy dose of spite and recklessness.

Current Progress: 0/10. Still waiting on delivery of materials.

With our materials in hand, we'll be building the framework using nothing but spite, anger, and the occasional tantrum.

Materials: The same as phase 1, plus 1000 used straws and 500 old newspapers.
Methods: We'll be employing the ancient art of "just winging it" combined with an aggressive use of power tools.

Current Progress: 1/10. Still waiting on our contractor to show up.

With the framework in place, we'll be topping it off with a sturdy layer of regret, disappointment, and possibly some actual roofing material.

Materials: 1000 old CDs, 500 old CDs, 2000 discarded umbrellas.
Methods: Using an innovative new technique involving a blowtorch, a can of spray paint, and a healthy dose of denial.

Current Progress: 0/10. Our contractor quit.